Today is Glenn Danzig's 60th birthday. Now that Danzig is officially a sexagenarian (the sexiest of all -genarians), we were inspired by this quote by the King of Metal, Dave Hill to offer you seven suggestions on how to celebrate Glenn's birthday…
Today is Glenn Danzig's birthday. Give your boss the finger and take the rest of the day off. If you're the boss, give yourself the finger.
— Dave Hill (@mrdavehill) June 23, 2015
1. Call Your Mother
This one's obvious, Danzig would want you to check in on her to make sure she's doing okay, and eating at least three times a day.
2. Change Your Cat's Kitty Litter
Danzig is quite the kitty connoisseur… Danzig recommends Fresh Step, so your kitty can poopy in peace.
3. Eat some Campbell's French Onion Soup
Danzig once held up an entire fest so he could enjoy some french onion soup in peace, the least you can do is go to your local market and grab some in his honor.
4. Smack anybody taking a photo of you
Danzig doesn't like photographers, and probably doesn't like selfies either. Do your Danzig proud by smacking a phone out of somebody's hand today.
5. Read Satanic books with your shirt off.
Do you have a better way to read books? I didn't think so!
6. Don't call Jerry Only.
Why would you? It's not his birthday!
Happy birthday, Glenn! We hope by now you picked up those god damn bricks off your god damn lawn. For more of Danzig's silliness, visit Oh, Danzig.