After Tim Lambesis was sentenced to six years in prison on Friday, AltPress published a stunning, must-read interview with Lambesis where, in my opinion, the dude threw everybody in his band and his ex-wife under the bus, passing the blame to everybody but himself.
During the long interview, he called out his bandmates for cutting off communication and not being there for him. He also called them out for no longer being religious and other slanderous matters. It was rough and I'm sure his former bandmembers were none too pleased.
One former band member, Nick Hipa, one of the two people Lambesis identified as contacting him, albeit briefly, spoke up earlier today via his Facebook page to give his side of the story in an eloquent and impassioned entry:
Last Friday I sat in a courtroom to support a friend. For the better part of a decade our professional and personal lives were woven in a relationship akin to family. As if family, the intention of my attendance was to publicly acknowledge the deep care and compassion I hold for this individual.
I watched as she searched for the strength to behold her transgressor for the first time in over a year since learning of his plot to have her murdered. I listened to her describe the love she once possessed for this man whom she adored, trusted, and depended on as her husband. I followed along as she detailed his abandonment of her and her children; a betrayal he failed to own but opted to blame on a lost sense of morality. This excuse became further excused by a defense that drug abuse had clouded his judgement.
She attempted to rebuild a life with three young children apart from a man who viewed them as disposable. The strength and resilience of these children—whom she saved from abandonment, poverty, and certain early death—were being further challenged by this domestic unravelling. Her desire was to give them love and stability, his response was to have her executed.
I observed his defense acknowledge the crime but defend it once again with the argument that steroids created mental instability. I followed as the prosecution reminded the court of an intricately calculated series of actions occurring over the course of many weeks. A scheme which involved using her children to secure gate codes for a would be assassin, and his plans for their further exploitation as an alibi; a plot indicative of careful premeditation over momentary mindlessness.
I watched as a Judge highlighted how many men use steroids but do not plot to murder innocent women, and for someone to move towards such action reveals something twisted within their character. He continued to point out that a willingness to involve children in such matters is deeply disturbing and reprehensible as well.
The accounts I interpreted within this courtroom were details of people and a past that I had known and observed first hand. All and everything was as I knew it to be.
I share this in response to an interview between Tim Lambesis and Ryan J. Downey that was released on AltPress.com moments after this woman and her family were given their closure. Behind the facade of a penitent man with renewed outlook, restored faith, and apparent remorse is a fairly appalling agenda to further damage the lives and reputations of his non-supporters. It is the continued defense of behavior that leveled every facet of an innocent woman's being and traumatized children who have already persevered through the actual pain of an orphan’s life.
There is no contrition in his pseudo-philosophical jargon, and the verbalized assessment of his relationship with myself and former bandmates is absolute slander. I had spoken with him directly and in length of how 100% of my heart, love, and loyalty was being directed in support towards his victims. These victims being people I had opened my heart to as family for many years and whom I pray will find healing from his deep abuse. In complete disregard for the truth as I’m certain he understands it, he opted to fabricate motives that describe us abandoning him as a callous business decision.
The intent of his defamation is to create an air of sympathy and support under the false pretense of a forthcoming tell-all. Unfortunately this has worked to a degree, as many strangers have put effort into projecting hatred towards those of us who chose to defend the guiltless subjects of his crimes.
It is regrettable that he utilized this platform as a means to justify his conduct. The prosecution of this case profiled him as a sociopathic narcissist in definite need of rehabilitation. For those of us who truly know the man for who he is, it’s shameful that in spite of all he is still as he ever was and just as they say.
For Jordan, Phil, Josh, and myself, we’ll continue to carry on knowing we behaved honorably, lovingly, and loyally to the individuals who truly needed it.
I commend Nick for this wonderfully-written piece and once again my sympathies go out to him, his bandmates, Meggan Lambesis and everybody affected by one sociopath's bad decisions.
The former members of As I Lay Dying have since moved on to a new project, Wovenwar, who will be releasing their first album this fall.