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DANK SLAMS: Tales From The Insectoid Space War By Rendered Helpless

Way back in October we introduced you to Christchurch, New Zealand's one-man slamster, Alexander Paul, and his project Rendered Helpless (as part of our We Slam Alone installment of Dank Slams). Alex, for those who don't already know, is also the vocalist of semi-superstar slammers, Organectomy.

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When not spewing the slam-spooge with his main band, Alex spends his free time in the parasitic, alien-insectoid world of Rendered Helpless. Last year saw the debut full-length, Unstoppable Parasites, hit with a unique and refreshing take on some of the tropes often associated with the sub-genre – especially as it relates to the vocals, which were unconventional, yet very fucking cool.


Well, Alex is back with his sophomore effort, appropriately titled Entities Of Transdimensional Emergence. I gotta say, straight-up, slam doesn't get much better than this. I mean, one look at that erection-inducing cover art says it all. Gorgeous. In addition to the eye candy, this thing also sounds gorgeous. The tones contained within are warm and silky – like a gigantic molten space cock slicing through a vagina-insectoid made of pure lard, with the entire battle taking place in Earth's thermosphere, and the results of said battle raining back down upon earth, causing torrential downpours of velvety, luscious vagina-insectoid-lard. Just when you're certain it's safe to once again venture outside, Alex then drops some of the sickest, heaviest slamquakes ever recorded, which then unleashes a civilization-ending vagina-insectoid-lard tsunami.

Yep, it's that fucking good. Anyway, that's just our interpretation upon listening to the first single. Here's Alex – the guy who actually creates this stuff – and his take on the album:

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ALEX: Between the endless need to one-up myself, and my insatiable hunger for interesting music, I've created something that I am beyond content with. With the release of this single, you get the first taste of what's to come. However, this entity is far from revealing its true colours. With concepts that I have yet to explore in my previous works, and a heavy inclusion of old influences, this album should satisfy and intrigue listeners of old and new.

Check out the first single, "Fall Before Me", streaming exclusively here at ye olde Dank Slams (and made possible, once again, by our awesome friends over at Slam Worldwide)…

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