Ted Nugent, man who isn't sure how naming conventions work, has contracted COVID-19. Nugent revealed his diagnosis during a Facebook livestream event, saying that he has "the Chinese shit". Because even in the face of serious health issues, Nugent remains classy.
"Everybody told me that I should not announce this. I have had flu symptoms for the last ten days. I thought I was dying. Just a clusterfuck.
"I was tested positive today. I got the Chinese shit. I've got a stuffed up head, body aches. My God, what a pain in the ass. I literally could hardly crawl out of bed the last few days… So I was officially tested positive for COVID-19 today."
Nugent went on to say that he's never been so sick in his entire life, and will get through this with willpower.
"I've been around a long time — 72.4 years, to be exact — and it's been quite an adventure… But I have never been so sick in all my life… I could barely crawl out of bed. And I'm not looking for sympathy; I'm just trying to share a medical emergency during a global medical emergency, and what the Nugent tribe, what this guitar player is doing to counterpunch a COVID-19 positive test this afternoon. And it's gonna be willpower."
Nugent has previously (and wrongly) questioned the efficacy of the COVID-19 vaccines, and has questioned how serious COVID-19 even is. All joking aside, hopefully Nugent comes out of this alright and opens his eyes to the possibility that maybe, just maybe, COVID-19 is extremely dangerous.