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Ever since I watched the Evil Dead series I've become attracted to dead women and trees, with the occasional bout of schizophrenical vomitting that protudes from the orafice of my brown notes. I am also convinced that I can saw off my hand and replace it with a neato contraction that fits over my stump, but having it be more like a fourteen inch long black rubber dildo rather than a chain saw. I'd rather fuck than kill. Or killfuck, that's good too.

Any advice on how to continue life in a normal fashion?
– Toliet Tongue

P.S. – Have you ever like…walked into a bathroom and there's a dude standing in front of the mirror naked jerking off into the sink…and instead of walking out you just stand there and watch him, then after a few minutes walk up behind him and rub his ass?Greg's response:
Here's some advice, DON'T LEAVE THE HOUSE! Do not go food shopping, do not walk the dog and for damn sure DO NOT GO TO A RED CHORD SHOW! It's hard enough dealing with the "normal" people that come out to see us. On a different note, I'm sure after people read this you'll meet a lot of interesting women who will let you lock them in the basement and be willing to call you Ash.

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