Every year Gathering Of The Juggalos, the Insane Clown Posse festival held at Shimmer Forest near Springville, IN, announces a handful of metal artists to participate. The 2019 edition included noisy-as-all-hell powerviolence band Meth. Meth was scheduled to play the 5:30 slot on August 2 and ultimately missed it because everyone at the festival sounds insane. At least to Meth Who sound pretty normal in their story.
For those who asked, here is the description of the events that that took place when Meth. was supposed to play the Gathering Of The Juggalos on August 02nd, 2019:
I woke up very uncollected as a result of a late night at a show. After peeling myself from my bed I collected a spare change of clothes for what I was anticipating to be one the messiest / unpredictable shows I’d ever play. It was about 9am.
Myself, my girlfriend and my band mates all met up at our van and piled into the car. We were heading to the Gathering Of The Juggalos for our 5:30 time slot on the cannibals house stage. The drive wasn’t anything extravagant, a 5 1/2 hour drive to southern Indiana. A drive that includes an abrasive sign in bold letters exclaiming “HELL IS REAL” meant to be a message of fear towards non Christians. but an ironic description of the armpit that is Indiana as a whole.
After making a few stops, we finally get off the highway and begin our descent towards the festival. Greeted by an unpaved road in the middle of nowhere, we embark on a short 5 mile drive to the festival gate.
Already anxious, as we are running a bit late, we arrive at the gate at 430pm. A solid hour before we have to play. Naturally neurotic, I just want to get to the festival stage to play. A security guard approaches us as we pull in and asks what we are there for. I answer, giving him out itinerary and general explanation that we are in fact supposed to be playing in an hour.
He tells me to drive straight ahead and meet up with a guy named terry. I say ok, and start to drive through the hoard of juggalos in front of me. Going a cool 3mph, we get to enjoy the scenery around us, including but not limited to:
– topless women carrying roosters
– A classy campsite with a cardboard sign that reads “rape camp”
-Tons of incoherent juggalos that probably didn’t realize I almost ran over them several times.
It was everything I was expecting but nothing I was prepared for. As the reality of the situation is a lot harder to comprehend when it becomes what’s in front of you. We drive straight and are stopped by a golf card patrol officer who asks why we’re at the stage.
“We need to talk to terry?” I say in uncertainty. “One second” he replies, somewhat frustrated.
We wait for a second and another golf cart comes. It is indeed terry. My guy.
“Hey we’re in a band called meth, we’re supposed to be playing cannibals house stage, can you point us in the right direction?” I ask.
“Uhhhhh, this is the main stage, cannibals house is that way, you’re gonna wanna go straight, take a right and then another right and then follow the path down. Let me give you a map”
“Ok” I reply
Terry then hands me a cartoon map of the festival.
“Now you’re gonna wanna just turn around over here and head back”
“Ok” I reply
We drive forward, and begin to uturn in our van and trailer. Our trailer lift digs into the ground and we are stuck in front of the main stage of the festival.
It is now 4:50. The security begins to stage the obvious “we’re gonna need to get that out of here”
Well, no shit.
We pile out of the van and begin to detach the trailer and dig ourselves out. As we do, a golf card (this time filled with juggalos) drives past and bellows: “I remember my first festival! WOOP WOOP” and drives away.
I am livid.
We finally dig ourselves out and drive back through the trenches of rape camp and find ourselves at another entry point.
“Hello, we’re in a band called meth. We’re supposed to be playing the cannibals house stage in 35 minutes”
“Ok you’ll just follow this road straight ahead and the stage is gonna be on your right.”
We begin driving through more campsites, there is trash everywhere. Again, nothing unexpected. We approach an opening surrounded by trees and a large sign that reads “fuck that hill”. A strong cause for concern as we are driving a van and trailer and I am a paranoid wreck about getting stuck again. It is 5:05pm.
Another golf cart ala Juggalo drives up the hill exclaiming “fuck that hill”. I look to my right and see a juggalo climb his way out of the trees. “I wouldn’t go down that hill if I was you” he tells me. “If I was you I’d back up and go around this campsite and you’ll get to where you need to go.”
I don’t think I ever really elaborated on where we needed to go but I take the trolls cautionary advice nonetheless. I begin backing up our trailer in the middle of the shimmer forest, parked cars scattered on both sides of me. I am very green with anything involving a trailer. I am beyond all levels of discomfort. I start backing up more and a water tanker parks behind me.
He gets out
“What the hell are you doing?” He asks
“We’re backing up, the troll juggalo told us not to go down the hill”
“I’ve been going up and down this hill all weekend, you’ll be fine” he tells us.
I go down the hill.
It is by far the most manageable hill I have ever gone down.
It is 5:15
I am red.
We get down the hill and start following the path to the stage. Following the cartoon map, I have no fucking idea where I am. I drive through a small bend and am greeted by another juggalo yelling “you’re going the wrong way!!! Turn around!”
No fucking thank you.
I keep driving, a sign in front of me states “one way” in the direction I was going.
We FINALLY arrive to the cannibals house stage. It’s 5:25. The sound engineer runs up asking what band we’re in.
“We’re in meth, were supposed to play in 5 minutes”
“I’m sorry y’all can’t play we don’t have enough time to get you on.”
I am on the brink of imploding
“We’ve been driving around this place for an hour and have been told to go in every direction but the right one”
“Well who did you y’all talk to?”
“We were told to talk to terry”
“Oh you’re supposed to talk to gene”
Imploding. Imploding. Imploding.
He then checks to see if he can squeeze us in a later time slot. He comes back and asks if we want to play at 4am. I decline, as I have to work in the morning and am ready to tear off my own skin.
To his credit, he was extremely nice and I have no ill feelings towards him. If there’s anything that can be taken away from this, however, is never EVER take driving directions from a juggalo who just climbed out of a tree. I hope to return and conquer on a later date.”
A description of events that took place when we were supposed to play the Gathering of the Juggalos in August.
Part 1 pic.twitter.com/vPHZOLB6Hj
— meth. (@meth_band) December 18, 2019
Part 2 pic.twitter.com/NEQtk9RKpK
— meth. (@meth_band) December 18, 2019