GWAR to host first annual Crack-A-Thon fundraiser in NYC

Usually I don't like to post press releases directly but rather sum up what they say. I just got perhaps the weirdest one yet. I actually had to read this twice to completely understand what's happening. GWAR IS HOLDING A CRACKATHON, THAT'S WHAT! They will seemingly be having a gallery opening in Brooklyn with the theme being a Crack-A-Thon. I think? Read the press release and try to figure it out for yourself…

GWAR to Stage First Annual "CRACK-A-THON"
Oderus Urungus, lead singer of GWAR, to host star-studded fund-raising event

Kickoff Party: Saturday April 10th 7-10pm
MF GALLERY: 213 Bond St. Brooklyn, NY 11217

In an announcement given to a "bunch of penguins", from the bowels of their Antarctic fortress, the world's sickest band, the mighty GWAR, has announced the continuation of their 25th Anniversary with a public event of colossal proportion – The Crack-a-Thon!

"We are trying to raise money for the kids…not just muscular dystrophy, but retards as well, all kinds of fucked-up freaks," said Oderus.

The event will kickoff on April 10th, 2010 at the notorious MF Gallery in Brooklyn, NY. The weeklong debauchery will be broadcast live on the World Wide Web, and anybody with internet access will be able to view the gala event free of charge. Viewers will be able to pledge funds via a website, (to be announced later – check http://www.MFgallery.net for details.) as powerful computers illegally drain your bank account. Rumors that any money raised will actually be used to pay off Oderus' crack debt were immediately confirmed.

Sleazy P. Martini, manager of GWAR and reputed underworld overlord.

Said Sleazy P. Martini, as he was reached for comment at his Jersey City headquarters, "Oderus is completely wasted and really has no concept of money, instead he prizes things like little pieces of rope or dead dogs and dead dogs don't pay the bills!"

"The boys and me wanna give something back to the community, you know, something besides AIDS…"

After the kickoff party on April 10th, there will be a week of intense preparation, as the MF Gallery is transformed into Slave Pit TV central, and Oderus is set loose on the streets of NYC! His atrocities will be carefully documented and broadcast during the Crack-a-Thon, which will commence on Friday April 16th, 2010. Live web cams will broadcast all the action from the gallery as slaves desperately prepare for the most stupendous entertainment event since Bud Dywers very public suicide!

The Crack-a-Thon will begin on Friday April 16th and will go as long as it takes to pay off Oderus' bill, or he gets bored and leaves, whatever comes first. The public is invited to be our studio audience, and should contact MF Gallery for information on how to reserve a seat in the Crack-a-Thon audience.

Oderus will be joined by band mate Balsac, the Jaws of Death, who will serve as band leader and comic foil.

"I really don't know why I demean myself by associating with him," said the metal-faced horror, "but it will be fun watching him fail."

The rumored list of guests scheduled to appear include Tiger Woods, God, and Carmen Electra's torso, though this was subject to change. Confirmed is the shadowy underground performance troupe, the F-Minus Art Players, led by the sewer-dwelling playwright and art-fag Anton Reemcobb, who are slated to perform some of their shockingly neo-dada-esque bullshit theatre. Also confirmed are cybernetic musical guests DETHRACE, among others.

Anton Reemcobb, poet, laureate, and disembodied head

Look for a full listing on www.MFgallery.net of all the stars appearing on what shall surely go down in history as one the most colossal failures in GWAR history. Prepare yourself for the Crack-a-Thon!!!

KICKOFF PARTY: Saturday April 10th, 2010 from 7 to 10 pm.
Meet the artists and buy some GWAR original artwork and prints.
Admission is free and open to all ages. Refreshments will be served.

LIVE CRACK-A-THON: Beginning Friday April 16th…
Contact MF Gallery owners Martina or Frank at [email protected] or (917)446-8681
For exact schedule and information on how to reserve your spot for the show.

MF GALLERY: 213 BOND ST. (B/W BUTLER & BALTIC) BROOKLYN, NY 11217
Take the F or G to Bergen, (Exit at Bergen and Smith, walk 2 blocks east on Bergen. Turn right on Bond. Walk south on Bond for 3 blocks.) the A to Hoyt/ Schermerhorn, (Exit at Schermerhorn and Bond. Walk South on Bond for 8 blocks.) or the R to Union. (Exit at Union and 4th ave. Walk west on Union for 3 blocks. Turn Right on Bond. Walk North on Bond for 4 blocks.)