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GENE SIMMONS Wants To Sell You Life Insurance

Gene Simmons is a walking, breathing (last we checked) Jewish stereotype. Born Chaim Weitz in Israel, Gene lived the American dream with KISS. And KISS is not just a rock band, they're a brand, a brand which licenses itself to the highest bidder. There are KISS coffins AND urns, condoms, Hello Kitty crossovers, you name it. But that's not enough money for Gene. He wants more. He had a reality show, which just got cancelled and now there is apparently a KISS golf course in Vegas and a KISS Coffeehouse in Florida. Because what goes better with coffee than KISS.

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I was just reading a Forbes blowjob interview with Simmons, where he revealed that not all of his ventures need the KISS or Gene Simmons name, like for example, Cool Springs Life, an "exclusive life insurance premium financing strategy that protects everything that you've worked so hard for." 

Can you imagine the thought process behind this? "Hmm, what could really cement my place as one of the Jewiest shyster Jews of all time?" Simmons must have asked himself. I know, start a life insurance agency! Everybody needs life insurance!  Wow, Gene, just when I thought you couldn't get any more douchey, you go and do something like this…and totally redeem yourself!

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