Tim Lambesis Publicly Reveals New Wife; ZAO Guitarist Slams Lambesis – He Doesn't Deserve To Be In A Band
Despite the As I Lay Dying show cancellation last week, Tim Lambesis is doing fine. Lambesis was released from prison in late 2016 after being sentenced to six years imprisonment in May 2014. He went to prison on a felony charge of solicitation of murder after attempting to hire a hitman to kill his then-wife. He served about two and a half years and was released right at the end of 2016. We covered this story exhaustively in 2013 and 2014. In 2018, As I Lay Dying made their quiet, controversial return. They released a new song and began booking tour dates. But there has been some blowback, including at this show.
Lambesis has since remarried, which we were the first to report when a wedding registry for him and his wife was made public. Today, on Valentine's Day, he decided to make the news offically official, introducing his wife to his fans.
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I’ve posted a couple photos with @amandadubord before, but it’s hard to properly introduce her without sharing a little bit of our story. She was my source of strength through the hardest 6 years of my life. She loved me at the top before I fell, and she somehow loves me even more now. Different people came and went during those 6 years, but Amanda, our family, and a few close friends were the only ones there the whole time. She hated seeing what I became, but she was still able to see that the man she loved wasn’t lost forever. I reached out my drowning hand, and she helped pull me ashore. Amanda drove hours to see me in chains behind thick glass for only 30 minutes. There were weeks when I was on 24 hour lockdown and my eventual 15 minute phone call with her is what got me through depression and isolation. When I finally got transferred to a medium custody facility I was able to finally see her in person again. We had been talking about it for years and finally ended up getting married about 6 months later. Even though it was just the two of us with our parents standing in front of some filing cabinets in the visiting room, it was the most real and beautiful moment of my life so far. Now we’re nearly inseparable, making up for years lost and pushing each other to reach our goals and be better people. There was so much pain to overcome, but there is also so much strength that came from it. That is why I call Amanda a warrior.
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READ ME ** Let’s get real people. Its easy to love someone when life is smooth sailing and there’s nothing but sunshine and smiles together. But to love someone when things go south and life gets hard, that’s something. When flaws are exposed and mistakes are made, that’s when love is truly tested. I feel all we see today are relationship posts that rave about the good days, but wheres the real in that? I think it’s about time Tim and I start sharing a little of our story with you all. Its also so important to be reminded that good relationships take work and what you see on social media is only a portion of what really goes on. Our marriage hasn’t always been dancing in the rain and forehead kisses. It’s been sacrifice and compromise, understanding and growth through communication. Love can be so painful, but love can also be the greatest feeling in the world. Here are 2 pictures both from my wedding day. The first is a photo from our wedding celebration that took place a year after our actual wedding. It’s was truly a fairly tale. The second photo holds my heart. Tim and I were married May 2nd of 2015 at CDCR prison. We said “I do” in front of our parents, a file cabinet and a few inmates. There was no Dj or cake, no honey moon or bridal party. 3 photos in total and I got a 3 second kiss that was watched by a guard. That day was the best day of my life so far and so damn rock and roll. To my husband, we made it, despite all odds against us. To our family, thank you for all of your love and support. Our friends that stuck by us, there are no words to describe the love we have for you. To our new followers and friends, we welcome you
While this love fest was going on, Zao guitarist/vocalist Scott Mellinger spoke to the Brewtally Speaking podcast – and while he had positive things to say about all the other members of the band, he was not so kind to Lambesis:
"With what little I know, I never thought those dudes would ever get back with that guy. I really never thought so. But I understand having music in your blood. The hard work that that group of guys took on themselves to do As I Lay Dying and turn it into what it became… I mean that band was one of the biggest metal bands at one time.
"So the allure of that, it's hard to argue… it sucks cause you can't win. It's a lose/lose proposition really, in my opinion. Do I think those guys deserve to be a band? I think Nick, Phil and Jordan deserve anything and everything that they get, because they're the best dudes ever.
"Do I think Tim Lambesis deserves to be in a band? Fuck no. That dude wouldn't be in a band if he went through with what he tried to go through. If he ended up not talking to a cop and talking to a real dude, like his wife might not be here, and it's hard for me to even rationalize or any of that kind of stuff.
"And I get it; it's real easy now to look back on it and say I'm sorry and I'm repentant. Like if it would've worked out she would've been taken care of. That's it, done. What are you gonna repent for then, ya know?
"It's just such a hard thing to think about cause, like I said, I love those three guys so much. They're some of the best dudes ever and I want to see them succeed in everything they do. It's just a really big time bummer that they had to get involved with that guy, and Tim to turn into the guy he turned into and now be in the situation they're in."
The sentiments here are ones we've heard privately from other musicians in the music community.
Lambesis, try as he may, with all his apologies, will have a very hard time being accepted into the music scene.
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While I’m disappointed by the cancellation of our show in Memphis, I understand and accept the resentment some people have towards who I used to be. I stand against that person I became during the darkest period of my past, and it is part of my life's work to prevent others from going down destructive paths. It's now been almost six (6) years since I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I consider each day an opportunity to do something positive to turn my life around and to use my experience to help others. As I move forward with this purpose I know there will be obstacles. However, I wish we could have come up with a more meaningful solution for the fans in Memphis rather than just cancel. Perhaps I could visit a recovery center in Memphis, a free event to our fans + those being served at the center, where I can open up for Q&A and all questions are welcome. I look forward to continuing this conversation around recovery, how to prevent others from ending up in a bad place, and how to facilitate healing in the lives of people who have been hurt by others. I welcome the opportunity to address the topic of domestic violence and how I am not on the opposing side of this critical issue. Since serving my time I’ve been involved in the following: • Completed all of the courses necessary to become an addiction treatment counselor in the state of California with hopes of helping others who are struggling with addiction and mental health. • Worked for a year as a case manager at an addiction treatment facility. • Spent two years tutoring inmates who never finished high school. Education is the greatest tool we currently have for breaking the criminal cycle of repeat offenders. • I currently visit prisons quarterly to help inmates without job skills train for their release so that they can become productive neighbors and not a burden on society. Most end up back in prison due to lack of hope or a support system. Through AILD, our recent tours have allowed us the opportunity to donate proceeds of sales to organizations that help others—notably Heart Support and families affected by the California fires… (CONTINUED IN NEXT POST)
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PART 2 CONTINUED… Thanks to our fans connecting with this message, we were able to become one of Heart Support’s main contributors (https://heartsupport.com/). We strongly believe in their objective to offer emotional support and counseling to young adults caught in cycles of depression, abuse, and addiction, and will continually support charities that further the process of healing for others. By listing all of the above, it's not my intention to gain praise or recognition. I simply want to make sure it's clear how seriously I take all of these issues. Throughout my four year incarceration and release, I’ve sought meaningful personal change and surrounded myself with family, friends, and counsel. I’m grateful to have earned the support of my bandmates, my wife, family, and fans who’ve also given me this chance. I will continue to move forward in my personal mission to help others and make a positive impact in the world around me, knowing there will be challenges, and believing that the next half of my life will be more meaningful than the first. I look forward to continuing a discussion around recovery, mental health, domestic violence and prisoner reform for many years to come.