Former Van Halen front-man David Lee Roth has been immersed in some sort of a mean streak in the last few days. First, he published a video dubbed The Ballad Of Popsicle Sam, in which he accused Sammy Hagar of being "sex probed" by aliens and that's why he's spewing "diarrhea vitriol in our direction." Exactly – talk about bizarre.
Now, he's turned his aim towards Wolfgang Van Halen, blasting him for allegedly "throwing out" some of his guests during a couple of the concerts of Van Halen’s final tour, and has done so… drum roll… on another video, called "This Crazy Kid…” which was originally named "This Fucking Kid”.
Roth expressed his unfiltered recollection of the incidents and minced no words towards Wolfgang… his most "respectful pejorative" towards him being "this schlemiel kid”. Ready to laugh or raise some eyebrows? Maybe just get on the phone with these guys and air it out there, Dave.
"This fucking kid, he's complaining the entire tour like I'm not paying enough attention to him on stage. Like Santa Claus coming down the chimney and popping out on Christmas with nobody paying attention. Shalom to the dome, homie. I'm giving him the best. Everything I've got in front of twenty, thirty thousand people at a clip, and he's complaining to everybody around me — the business manager, the security guy, the clothing lady — 'Dave's not paying enough attention to me.' Cut to New York City — glamorous, glistening, shimmering New York City, and we're at Jones Beach with twenty thousand of my closest friends.
"I walk out into the middle of the stage and I'm gonna do 'Ice Cream Man', and I'm testifying to the brothers, Eddie and Al, 'Man, this is how many times we've played New York. This is spectacular.' And what I don't know is this kid, this schlemiel kid, has commandeered a couple of monkeys to go in back, behind my back, over to the side of the stage and throw out these two great dames that I invited to be my guests to the show.”
"And these dames are in their forties, okay? Businesswomen. In fact, you aren't gonna believe this shit.” Roth continues. "This fucking kid, what he doesn't know is that these two dames work for the accounting firm that represents him, not me. But as usual, he, just like his uncle and his uncle's brother, stiffed them for tickets. I know they're gonna do that, so I got ahead of things and I give them tickets. I put 'em way off to the side.
"And I'm not talking about Mötley Crüe groupies here. This is the real deal. And they're both carrying big satchel purses, right? Like Gucci. Here we go. And he throws them out of the building. He's teaching me a lesson. What this fucking kid doesn't know, they're carrying the paychecks for all 82 people on the road crew. Nobody tells me till I'm parked in the middle of that fucking bridge… You know fuckin' Jones Beach, they think I'm gonna freak out. I laughed so hard I spilled my Snapple."
"Cut to Hollywood — that's Gooey Ballyhooey Hollywood. We're playing the Hollywood Bowl in October 2015. It's the last two shows of the tour, and Ed's not having a good day this year. So, I know, hey, maybe, I always gotta play it like what if this was the last show I ever have with the brothers. This is important to me. We're celebrating the fiftieth anniversary here from when we first started arguing over which song is first. Stay focused. The brothers are playing. I walk out on stage at the Hollywood Bowl. This is the very last show that we're playing.
"And I start getting tears in my eyes 'cause I testify to Ed and I testify to Al that, 'Hey, we started right down the street at a little nightclub called Gazzarri's. We were playing dance tunes and our parents didn't give us shit. We made every penny go right into the gas tank or onto the guitar strings fretboard. Okay, here we go.' We're at the Hollywood Bowl. I'm about to launch into 'Ice Cream Man', and this fuckin kid! He commandeers two muscle monkeys, and locates the one dame that is my guest; she's off in the wings of the Hollywood Bowl.
"They find her, make her do the walk of shame past all the other guests, out into the parking lot, and throw her out of the building! Wolfie Van Halen's gonna teach me a lesson by throwing out what he thinks is my girlfriend. But guess what? Not only is this an accountant again, and not only is she carrying the paychecks for 82 of us on the road crew, but she's carrying cash bonuses for everybody there. You may wanna pull over on this next one; you're gonna pee your pants. Remember New York City? It's the same fucking lady!"
"This fucking kid. This fucking kid!… And that's how I remember my last show with Eddie Van Halen." Roth exclaims at the end of the clip.