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HANNES GROSSMAN Attacks Flat Earthers On His New Song "The Flying Pizza Conundrum"

Hannes Grossman of Alkaloid, Hate Eternal, Triptykon and formerly of Obscura.

Hannes Grossman of Alkaloid, Hate Eternal, Triptykon and formerly of Obscura.

Drummer Hannes Grossmann (Alkaloid, Hate Eternal, Triptykon, etc.) has announced his third solo album Apophenia to be out on March 11. The lineup for this record includes Obscura bassist Linus Klausenitzer, ex-Obscura guitarist Christian Münzner, Alkaloid guitarist Danny Tunker and Noneuclid and Alkaloid vocalist Morean. He's also recruited guest guitarists Fountainhead (ex-Obscura), Marty Friedman (ex-Megadeth) and V. Santura (Noneuclid, Dark Fortress, Triptykon).

Perhaps more importantly, Grossman straight up attacks flat earthers in his new song "The Flying Pizza Conundrum." Read the lyrics below and you'll have zero question in your mind this is what it's about. It's also 2019 and we needed an anti-flat earth movement song, because willful ignorance is clearly back in style these days.

Maybe the Earth’s a flying pizza
Maybe “South”’s the same as “down”
Maybe NASA are all liars
Or maybe it’s just fucking round

Maybe the sun’s a tiny spotlight
Maybe things don’t fall to the ground
Maybe the moon’s just a projection
Or maybe you’re just fucking around

“Gravity” is short for “gravity, you fucking retard”
It isn’t “checkmate” if you just knock over the board
Replacing progress of the species
With mindless drivel of the Lord

Speeding upwards at 1 g =
Less than a year, and we’re at light speed
So the world started, like, last October?

“But but but water always finds its level”
But what is level – it is not a straight line
It’s perpendicular to the Earth’s pull of gravity

Gravity, you fucking retard
Every single proof just gets ignored
Replacing progress of the species
With mindless drivel of the Lord

Climb a mountain
Board a plane
Look out to sea
Or *aaargh* use your fucking brain
Believe what you want
But please keep it to yourself
We grownups needn’t hear
The lies of the insane

The lies of the insane

Solo – Morean

Let’s put things in perspective
The point of the “vanishing point”
Is the vanishing

So towards sunset
Your micro sun inflates
Oh, so much fail

The Zetetic sewer
Is where cognition goes to die

And the best one yet:
Antarctica does not exist…?
Ice wall, nowhere to fall?

The austral midnight sun
Upside-down moon and Southern stars
Sigma Octantis

So many nails
We’re running out of coffin here

Gravity
Is short for “gravity, you fucking retard”
Cosmology acrobats, boy you must be bored
Replacing progress of the species
With mindless drivel of the Lord

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