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Metal Crimes

Frontman Of Clown-Themed IRON MAIDEN Cover Band Arrested In Japan With $7 Million Worth Of Drugs

We have so much to talk about right now.

We have so much to talk about right now.

Before we even dive into the drug arrest aspect of this story, let's talk about the fact that there's a clown-themed Iron Maiden cover band called Powerclown. The band has been around for close to 20 years, has members called Lippy Dongstalking and John Wayne Gary, and look completely insane.

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Powerclown traveled to Japan to play some shows in December and frontman Daniel "Dicksee Diànno" Whitmore thought it was a good idea to bring along $7 million worth of "stimulant drugs" with him. The drugs, which remain unspecified in the Global News story, were found by authorities at the Narita International Airport on December 11 and Whitmore was arrested.

Here's what the band had to say via Facebook.

In regards to certain legal actions taken against a certain member of one of my clients, Powerclown, I hereby release the following statement from the band.

Sincerely, Raymond Paip –
Attorney at Large.

Flags are flying half mast at the Powerclown circus tent. I assure you, any frowns we are wearing are real. Painted on or not. All we can do is hope for the best for him. Clownery and parlour tricks, whether by him or us ain't gonna do no good. Even with his voice, the voice of a songbird, and his velvet-painting-smooth charm, he wont be able to talk his way out of these hijinks, even if he did speak Japanese.

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While none of us clowns condone Dicksee's actions, or recommend anyone else attempting something this foolish, we do hope for the best for our grease-painted pal. We hope that by some small…make that large…miracle, he somehow manages to slide into his cock-pink pants and dance himself back home to face this different form of music he has created for himself. We love you Dicksee. If you somehow make it back here, and we hope you do, we may even go easy on you. Maybe. No promises.

-Sketchy Klown

So there you have it. Powerclown is without a frontman for now. Maybe they can get someone to don a Dickinson name and front them? Preferably someone who doesn't smuggle several millions of dollars of drugs into a country that takes drug offenses super seriously? Though to be fair, Whitmore's friend Joseph Lambert told Global News that "I think somebody told him he had to do it because this does not seem like Dan," and "I don’t know why he would’ve thought this was an option for anything."

[via The PRP]

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