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THE HELL WROTE A LETTER TO SANTA YOU PRICK

IT'S THE MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS YOU DICK.

IT'S THE MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS YOU DICK.

HOLY SHIT DO YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME THE HELL WROTE A LETTER AND YOU ALL FREAKED OUT FOR SOME REASON? ME TOO! SO NATURALLY WE HAVE TO POST ABOUT THE HELL'S FANTASTIC LETTER TO SANTA. I HOPE THEY GET EVERYTHING THEY WANT ESPECIALLY THE NERF GUN BECAUSE HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED WTH A NERF GUN BEFORE? A-FUCKING-MAZING.

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SO SANTA. LISTEN TO VOCALIST NAIL$ PLEASE.

DEAR SANTA

HOPE YOU'RE WELL YOU FUCKING LAZY DICKHEAD.

I'VE BEEN REALLY FUCKING GOOD THIS YEAR AND REALLY FUCKING NICE TO EVERYONE SO HERE IS WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS:

1) ONE OF THOSE "PUNK GOES…" COMPILATIONS. PREFERABLY "PUNK GOES AWAY FOREVER".

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2) A $200 VIP MEET-AND-GREET TICKET UPGRADE FOR SOME TRANSIENT, GARBAGEY HAIRCUT BAND SO I CAN VOMIT ALL OVER THEM.

3) A SPINESHANK REUNION TO PROVE THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SHIT YOU ARE OR HOW LITTLE PEOPLE CARED THE FIRST TIME ROUND: IN 2014, OLD = GOOD.

4) THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE TO STOP BEING FUCKING SWEATY BELLENDS: DAILY MAIL, RACISTS, SEXISTS, HOMOPHOBES, KEYBOARD PLAYERS, PEOPLE WHO LIKE INSANE CLOWN POSSE, PRETTY MUCH FUCKING EVERYONE ACTUALLY.

5) A DICTIONARY OF SWEAR WORDS FOR ALBUM THREE.

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6) BRIEFCASES FOR ALL OF OUR MONEY.

7) NERF GUN.

THANKS SANTA YOU PRICK

NAIL$

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[VIA METAL HAMMER YOU DICK]

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