HOLY SHIT DO YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME THE HELL WROTE A LETTER AND YOU ALL FREAKED OUT FOR SOME REASON? ME TOO! SO NATURALLY WE HAVE TO POST ABOUT THE HELL'S FANTASTIC LETTER TO SANTA. I HOPE THEY GET EVERYTHING THEY WANT ESPECIALLY THE NERF GUN BECAUSE HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED WTH A NERF GUN BEFORE? A-FUCKING-MAZING.
SO SANTA. LISTEN TO VOCALIST NAIL$ PLEASE.
DEAR SANTA
HOPE YOU'RE WELL YOU FUCKING LAZY DICKHEAD.
I'VE BEEN REALLY FUCKING GOOD THIS YEAR AND REALLY FUCKING NICE TO EVERYONE SO HERE IS WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS:
1) ONE OF THOSE "PUNK GOES…" COMPILATIONS. PREFERABLY "PUNK GOES AWAY FOREVER".
2) A $200 VIP MEET-AND-GREET TICKET UPGRADE FOR SOME TRANSIENT, GARBAGEY HAIRCUT BAND SO I CAN VOMIT ALL OVER THEM.
3) A SPINESHANK REUNION TO PROVE THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SHIT YOU ARE OR HOW LITTLE PEOPLE CARED THE FIRST TIME ROUND: IN 2014, OLD = GOOD.
4) THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE TO STOP BEING FUCKING SWEATY BELLENDS: DAILY MAIL, RACISTS, SEXISTS, HOMOPHOBES, KEYBOARD PLAYERS, PEOPLE WHO LIKE INSANE CLOWN POSSE, PRETTY MUCH FUCKING EVERYONE ACTUALLY.
5) A DICTIONARY OF SWEAR WORDS FOR ALBUM THREE.
6) BRIEFCASES FOR ALL OF OUR MONEY.
7) NERF GUN.
THANKS SANTA YOU PRICK
NAIL$
[VIA METAL HAMMER YOU DICK]
