We just got a very important intergalactic press release from our overlords in GWAR:
We are now a little less than two months away from GWAR B-Q2015.GWAR's 30th birthday bash is shaping up to be the most insane party of the summer! VIPTickets for the event are Almost Sold Out! There is still time Bohabs!So, what are you waiting for? Word in Antarctica is that Phil Anselmo, one of the only humans brutal enough to hang with GWAR, will be on hand for an exclusive celebrity signing for VIP ticket holders ONLY!! Phil will be joined by a lavish list of other artists appearing at the VIP Meet & Meat such as, Clutch, Cro-Mags, Ghoul, Goatwhore and many more. But that's not all, in addition to the numerous other benefits, VIP's will also enjoy exclusive indoor bathrooms in which to void their hideous waste. Why poop with the plebes in the port-a-potties when you have the cash to assure your turds a place at the top of the pile? And if escaping the chemical toilets isn't enough, VIP's will also have a refuge from the sun and chaos while enjoying the shade from their very own private VIP Pavilion!
Always one for charity, GWAR's manager, Sleazy P. Martini has further sweetened the pot by adding the Express Band; a special wristband that grants access to Express Lanes throughout the festival, providing shorter lines everywhere from the entrance gates to the merch booth, and lines for beer tickets and port-o-potties.
"That's right Bohabs, now you you can experience for one day the awesomeness that is my entire life. You're welcome."
To make sure things run smoothly, numerous staff will be in place to monitor lines at all event booth locations including the entrance gate, merchandise, beer sales and port-o-potties. Express Bands are included in the VIP and Deluxe Ticket packages, and this is retroactive, so if you have already purchased a ticket package, you will still get your wristband at the festival. VIP ticket holders will already have all of their credentials prior to the event for the easiest of access. Deluxe ticket holders and Express Band purchasers will pick up their Express Bands at the gate through the express lane. VIP swag bag and Deluxe official GWAR B-Q event t-shirt will be picked up at the Merchandise booth. Express Bands can also be purchased à la carte online ($19) at http://gwarbq.com/buy-tickets or at the door on the day of the festival ($25). All sales are subject to availability. In order to keep lines short, a limited number of these express wristbands will be available, so get them while they're hot! Don't miss out on all of the killer benefits and new additions. Get your Express Wristband and TicketsHERE.
But despair not intrepid Bohab! Even if you can't afford the upgrades, there are several changes this year that will ensure the event runs smooth as a porn star's pussy. Lines will be more manageable thanks to the addition of Cash Lanes at all event booths, including entrance gates, merchandise and beer ticket sales. As in years past, it will be hot as fuck at the GWAR B-Q, and when it is hot as fuck people want to keep cool and stay hydrated. This year GWAR B-Q will be providing plenty of FREE GWATER for everyone in attendance. Of course, the main concern of most booze addled Bohabs is ready access to gallons and gallons of BEER! Thanks to our friends at Pabst Blue Ribbon and Loveland distributors there will be 3 Beer Trucks on site and 4 GWAR Beer Kiosks selling the cherished nector of the gods, Oderus Ale, brewed by Cigar City. So rest assured Bohabs…WE WILL NOT RUN OUT OF BEER! And finally, where oh where will you piss it all away? No less than 50 portable crappers at this years event are guaranteed to cut down the number of drunken idiots waiting cross-legged to empty their beer bloated bladders. All this is to say; GWAR-B-Q 2015 will be bigger, better and wetter than ever!
As an added bonus, we've created The Ultimate Bohab Guide to all things GWAR B-Q. This all-encompassing checklist and guide will ensure every Bohab's maximum pleasure while attending the legendary GWAR B-Q. Answers to any and all of your questions can be found at gwarbq.com. All Habs should pay particular attention to the handy FAQ page at https://gwarbq.com/faq.