Given that not only do I have a minuscule working knowledge of the German language, but that I also don’t drink, logic dictates that someone like myself would be precluded from most of the enjoyment offered here by Tom “Angelripper” Such and the sixth album of his Onkel Tom side-project.
If there was any way to squeeze in a quickie with Rosetta Stone’s German division before the deadline for this review crept up, it would have been something to consider. The chief reason being that I’ve always been curious about what sort of letting loose Angelripper has got up to over the past twenty years whilst away from Sodom. Given that a wise man (Tobias Sammet of Edguy, who himself is German) once quipped that “the thinnest book ever written is called ‘German Humour’”…well, you can probably see where this is going. From the off, unless you know the lingo, about 99% of H.E.L.D. thematically and topically is going to make no sense; that outstanding 1% is reserved for liver-killers like “Ein bisschen Alkohol,” which doesn’t take a Teutonic engineer with a degree in comparative literature to decode the theme of.
Onkel Tom, despite being a niche project that only drunken Germans and the most hardcore of Sodom fans will have bothered to investigate, has been going on since the mid-90s. Where former works exist essentially as electrified and metalized versions of drinking songs, that curious German genre of Schlager music and even Christmas carol covers, H.E.L.D. sees the band striking out more on their own. The rhythms and melodies are at one with a heavy rock take on the sort of shit I imagine gets natives all restless and dancing on tables during Oktoberfest, but there are stand-out moments like “Am Morgan damach” which is a pensive, gravel pit version of “Wanted Dead or Alive” or “Prolligkeit ist keine Schande” which reminds of speedy and well-crafted 80s hard rock with a MTV-ready chorus and a bass solo twist. All well and good, but it’s still not nearly enough to give this much more than novelty appeal unless, that is, you get so shit-hammered one night that you end up thinking you know how to speak, read and understand German. Even if you actually don't.
5/10
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