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I had an old lady hit on me at work today. Literally in her 70's maybe 80's. I offered to have someone help bring stuff she bought to her car, to which she said yes. However, when it was revealed that it was going to be a female coworker of mine helping her she said, "Aw, what a shame. I like young men's help." Then she licked her lips. 

Yup. That was my day. Fucking retail. Now, to the metals…

Phillip H. Anselmo & The Illegals – Walk Through The Exits Only


Genre: Southern Sludge
Origin: New Orleans, Louisiana
Label: Hoursecore

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Phillip Anselmo will forever live in the shadow of his former self, but he should be admired for his prolific work none the less. Walk Through The Exits Only is the closest thing he has done musically to Pantera in about a decade. Tracks like “Battalion of Zero,” and “Bedridden” just are driving, heavy, and pleasantly chaotic. This is probably my favorite non-Pantera project he's done.

The Aristocrats – Culture ClashCulture-Clash-Front-Cover

Genre: Jazz Rock
Origin: England, Germany, America
Label: Boing!

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This album has quite the collection of musicians you should respect. Guthrie Govan (Steven Wilson’s current guitarist), Maco Minnemann (Paul Gilbert and Steven Wilson’s ex-drummer), and Bryan Beller (Dethklok-live and Frank Zappa’s bassist) are all absolute gods at their instruments. Together they make the music you’d expect from them. It is sort of Joe Satriani-like but with a balance of musical wanking between all three members. Definitely one for the prog nerds.

Evan Brewer – You ItineraryEvan-Brewer-Your-Itinerary

Genre: Instrumental prog
Origin: Nashville, Tennessee
Label: Sumerian

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If you are not familiar with Evan Brewer for some reason, you should be. While his work with The Faceless is neat and all, his solo work is mind blowing. Not since Les Claypool of Primus has there been such a fascinating bassist. While Brewer’s first album was just bass guitar (and only bass), Your Itinerary is much closer to a full band sound with drums, keys and some electronic boops. Another one for my fellow prog nerds.

Jucifer – За Bолгой для нас земли нет381747

Genre: Sludge
Origin: Athens, Georgia
Label: Nomadic Fortress

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Jucifer is what The Black Keys would sound like if they went to hell and decided to play at 10% of the speed they usually do. In short, that long Russian title you’ll never learn how to say (which apparently means “There Is No Land Beyond the Volga”) is two man fuzzy doom goodness.

Kryptos – The Coils of ApollyonKryptos-cover

Genre: Thrash
Origin: Bangalaore, India
Label: AFM

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These guys must fucking love Judas Priest and Iron Maiden. I don’t mean that as a slam against them. They take the guitar lines that scream late-70’s/early-80’s and tack on some modern thrash to create a solid batch of songs that one would never have guessed came from India.

Trouble – The Distortion FieldTrouble-The-Distortion-Field

Genre: Stoner/Doom
Origin: Chicago, Illinois
Label: Escapi

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One of the longest running bands in their genre is still doing it well. I actually didn’t realize the band started in 1979, and almost called them a Black Sabbath influenced band done well. While, yes there is quite a bit of a Sabbath feel here, at least it is being done by a band that could almost be a contemporary. Fun fact: This will mark the first release with former vocalist Kyle Thomas, who sang with the band from 1997-2000, but never was recorded with them somehow.

Also dropping today…

Beyond – Fatal Power Of Death (Iron Bonehead)
Caro – Letchworth Village (Rogue)
King Conquer – 1776 (Mediaskare)
Phantom Glue – A War Of Light Cones (Black Market Activities)
Seven Witches – Rebirth (Frostbyte)
Stomach Earth – Stomach Earth (Black Market Activities)
Witches Mark – Witching Metal Ritual (Heaven and Hell)

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Upcoming Releases

Their second with Exhorder vocalist Kyle Thomas.