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Religious Group Claims New Reebok Sneaker Is The Work Of The Devil

Think twice when someone says they need to "burn off" some calories

Reebok Satan Shoes
Photo on the left courtesy of the Reebok Instagram page, photo on the right is a Gustave Doré illustration circa 1866.

On their classic 1972 LP Exile on Main St., the Rolling Stones have a track called "I Just Wanna See His Face," and the chorus goes a little like this: "I don't wanna talk/Talk about Jesus/I just wanna see his face." Which is a simple enough request, I think, if that's what you're into. Even still, it's not enough for some people. Religious groups—with their zeal always in constant flex—love seeing biblical figures on all types of shit: houses, toast, ultrasounds. Sometimes, Jesus just needs to stretch his legs, so he takes a walk in your neighborhood.

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Satan, however, has typically found refuge in the average teenager's LP collection (who could blame him?) That is, until now. Dare I say it, but Reebok has possibly made it easier to walk in Satan's shoes, if that's what you're into. Now, if you're wondering, "What the hell is he talking about?" I understand. So, let me fill in the blanks.

Footwear giant Reebok recently dropped their latest fashion sneaker, the Reebok x Maison Margiela Tabi Decortique. The website Sneakernews wrote of the new line, "Developed by creative director John Galliano, this technique deconstructs a piece down to its architectural frame, taking out that which is not functionally necessary… that includes a number of the upper side and heel panels, each cut out."

Apparently, much of the front of the shoe is not functionally necessary, either, as cut outs run down the center of the sneaker, making them look curiously like horns (or, as we're about to learn, like Baphomet feet). And since horns are traditionally found in abundance primarily on antelope and El Diablo…. well, I'm sure by now you see where this is going. The clique of holy rollers at Prophecy News clearly saw the sneaker as a threat to humanity, and they made this clear in a post to Facebook.

“Reebok’s new sneakers have the Baphomet goat feet," the post read. "The rulers of this world show more and more openly and clearly who they worship. Make sure to open your eyes, and don’t be caught up in their rituals.” [via MetalSucks]

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Next time I run into Satan, I'm going to ask His Darkness about the fit and comfort of his new shoe line. I doubt they're better than a pair of Crocs, though. Also, what the hell is it about The Devil and shoes anyway?

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