Have you ever worn your Dying Fetus shirt out in public and wondered why you're not immediately attractive to the opposite sex? Or come off stage drenched in sweat after having screamed about murder and celestial violence for 45 minutes, and really pondered your singledom? Well, Devin Townsend has a shocking revelation for you – metal isn't sexy.
In an interview with Allschools, Townsend says metal is "possibly the most sexless genre that you could find," and that sexiness for him is just food.
"Is there such a thing? Metal sexiness? A bunch of sweaty dudes in black clothes? This is possibly the most sexless genre that you could find. But I think it makes it easier to manipulate yourself in middle age, because there's no real need for you to pursue sexiness as a fundamental aspect of your work. So you're talking to the wrong guy when it comes to that. Sexiness, for me, is… [long pause]… I don't know… What is sexiness for me? Food."
Maybe we're doing it all wrong. Maybe death metal should be less about both death and metal, and more about food. Can't hurt to try, right?