The following list was written by Persekutor frontman Vlad the Inhaler, and details all the ways you too can stay frosty (and metal) this summer. Pre-order Persekutor's upcoming album Snow Business here.
Beach Bang
Fill cooler with alcohol drink of choosings. Packs up the beach gear – towels, weed pipe, bikini ladies. Get extra-large booming box like Radio Raheem in Do The Right Things. Go to beach. Make party. Blast Persekutor Snow Business album on repeats!
Golden Shower
Fill freezer bag with ice colds beer. Pick up bikini ladies. Go to forest. Can be whatever forest is near to you—Carpathian Forest, Sherwood Forest, Black Forest of Germany. Hangs beer bag from tree branch. Pokes hole in bag. Sits underneath bag and drinks beer or just let hits you in face as you becomes sexually aroused. Listen to Persekutor Snow Business album on repeats!
Frost Box
You know hot box, yes? This is frost box: Make friend with accesses to walk-inside cooler or meats locker. Stock with liquor, bikini ladies, and cans of the whipped cream. Bring fur coats also for bikini ladies in case "too cold." Drinks liquor, puts the whippets into the face and use imagination. Listen to Persekutor Snow Business album on repeats!
Romanian Riverdance
Fill trash bag with beer and ice and assorted liquors. Pick up bikini ladies in party van. Drive to river that is havings trees and shrub nearby. Tie bag to low branch so drinks is stayings frosty in river. Make party. Listen to Persekutor Snow Business album on repeats!
Persekutor Pool Party
Dump many ice cubes into child pool. Add vodka and bikini ladies. Do "body shots" or as we calls them in Persekutor "booby shots." Make party. Listen to Persekutor Snow Business album on repeats!
