Chris Fronzak is nothing if not a smart businessman. Musical preferences aside, Attila appear to be one of the more successful acts out there right now. And Fronzak is all about diversifying, whether it be tacky tasteless merch, tacky cologne, a record label that signs tacky bands, and tacky rap singles.
But now, Fronzak has devised a way for his biggest fans to get in contact with him directly, via a new fan club, which costs $50 a month to join. Here is a pitch he sent out to his "fans" and I have to admit, as dumb as this, it's a very persuasive email:
"Hey, this is Fronz! First of all I would like to thank you for supporting Attila, it truly means a lot to me. The reason I am sending you this email is because I want to personally invite you to join my brand new website before I make it available to the public. I feel like you deserve the first opportunity to join before anyone else. What is my website? My subscription site is a place where you can learn and interact with me on a DAILY basis. I've been through a lot in my life and I know for a fact that I can use my experiences and knowledge to benefit you. Whether you strive to be an entrepreneur and work for yourself, you want to start a band or clothing line, or you want some daily inspiration to put a smile on your face, my website is PERFECT for you!
"If you join today I will give you my personal phone number so you can text me at any time! No, this isn't a joke! You'll be able to text or call me any time you'd like (just give me time to respond lol). I've always wanted to figure out a way to communicate with you guys on a personal level, and I finally found the solution!
He's always wanted to communicate on a personal level so he figured why not charge his biggest fans $50 for the privelage right? Now I know what you're saying. Well, somebody can just sign up and leak his phone number. You think Fronz didn't think of this?
"It doesn't matter if my phone number leaks because ONLY people who are saved in my contacts can reach me. The only way to be in my contacts is to subscribe. It is impossible to text/call me unless you are subscribed."
Don't try to pull a fast one on Fronz. Naturally, he's gotten a bit of blowback about the absurd price. And, he addressed the haterz by explaining what a great value this is for his fanz:
"$50 is a very reasonable price considering what you're getting. You aren't just getting access to blogs and videos, you're also getting a direct line of contact to reach me on my personal cell phone. Everyone has individual needs, so besides offering general advice, I am also offering you PERSONALIZED advice and guidance suited to your needs!"
Personalized advice from the inventor of the best-selling catchphrase, "Suck my fuck!" How could you go wrong?
For what it's worth, the site where you can sign up for a membership, Fronzak.com is down as of this writing. Could it be because a lot of people want to sign up? Maybe. Could it be a DDoS attack? More likely.
Will you be signing up?