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Metal Up Your Ass

METAL UP YOUR ASS: Thirsty Thursday

What the fuck is a free country if a person can't fornicate with an inanimate object in peace?! Doesn't Michigan realize that he could have done something way worse, like get laid off and then get laid and slayed by some idiot who just gave Cannibal Corpse fans a bad name. But hey, life in the States could be worse. At least you won't find any of these in America. And, your day will get even better if you spend the rest of it reading all these links and avoid Thirsty Thursday.

TOUR RECAPS

Mikael Akerfeldt "NEEDS" an album called Menu. Help him out, fuckers.

Deathcore dudes can't wait to tour with Aborted.

Kreator wants to thank everyone who saw them on their European tour for celebrating violence with them

REUNIONS AND COMEBACKS

Award winners plan on staying together

I couldn't believe it. But, its totally true. maudlin of the Well (and Kayo Dot too) returns thanks to their fans

America's biggest freak is bringing a circus to London

Check out Daath in front of a green screen

Tom Araya says expect the new album to be like, uh, Slayer. For now, those thrash dudes will be releasing a 7" vinyl on Record Store Day

I know a reporter in Atlantic City that either just pissed, came or did both on himself because KISS is back.

Is this tour title a joke?

ALL ABOUT SHOWS

Even if you live in the middle of nowhere, you still might be able to see God Forbid

Some tool will be on tour again soon.

Seventeen people were arrested at a metal show in PA. That's it?!

A metal dude reviews a moshcore show for what it really is

Samael are craving to play their new songs

If you life in Seattle and <3 grind, go see Pig Destroyer

Propaghandi added more tour dates

Nobody in Detroit likes Metallica after their SXSW stunt. And, the world will like them even less after bringing back Newsted.

AIRWAVES

A "Dramatic Roar" captivates on VH1

Once again metal's tolerable creep teaches an interesting lesson on something, well, metal

Next Rotten Sound album will focus on the meaning of stupidity

OTHER NEWS

Another magazine bit the dust

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