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Former GUNS N ROSES Guitarist Dj Ashba's Blockbuster New Product: WATER!!!1!

"To be honest, there's very few really good good-tasting waters out there." – Dj Ashba

"To be honest, there's very few really good good-tasting waters out there." - Dj Ashba

Now that Dj Ashba is no longer in Guns N Roses, he seems to have a bunch of free time. Sure, he's working with Nikki Sixx on a new Sixx A.M. album, but the dude can't just sit at home and play video games. He needs to pitch a product, but not energy drinks… everybody has energy drinks. What's one thing that literally every human needs to survive?

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WATER!!!!!!1!

Ashba himself explains how this revolutionary idea came to be, it was a bit of synchronicity honestly. Here is his quote, and allow me to annotate with some opinions:

"Everybody keeps asking me, 'Why water?' For many, many years, I've been wanting to do an alcohol or… like a vodka or a tequila… And I was actually in my clothing store at the Stratosphere [in Las Vegas] designing a vodka bottle, and a kid came in and asked if we had some water. And he left. Probably thirty minutes later, somebody else came in asking if we carried water. And a third person walked in [asking for water].

Ok, let's do a quick poll. How many times have you been incredibly parched and walked past a clothing store in a Las Vegas hotel and thought "I wonder if they serve water."?


I'm guessing the majority of answers here will be "literally never." But okay, let's keep going with this quote:

And I just sat there and I go, 'You know what? Why am I not doing water?' Because everybody can buy water.

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I guess he's implying not everybody can buy alcohol. But everybody can also buy cleaning supplies, why not cleaning supplies? Everybody can buy chocolates. Why not ASHBA chocolates?!

And, to be honest, there's very few really good good-tasting waters out there.

WAIT, WHAT?!? Are there bad tasting waters? Water either tastes like water or uhh water. Have you ever had a bad tasting water? People sometimes complain about the "flavor" of Evian water, but it's fucking water.

So we did an extensive amount of research, found the best bottling company we could possibly find, and that was it. And we went to work. So it is awesome. And it's really fucking killer quality — 21-gram plastic bottles, so it's not the kind where you open it up and shit goes all over the place."

Don't you hate it when you open a bottle of water and it goes all over the place? No? Oh, I guess it's because you know how to open a bottle of water.

Have you ever went to the grocery store and were looking at all the different types of water and thought "hmmm, how many grams are the bottles? I don't want a flimsy bottle to carry the water that I'm about to down immediately." Well, then I guess Ashba Water is for you.

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There is still no price listed for Ashba water, but the dude is trying to sell shirts that have his name on it for $40, so I imagine that his water would go for at least $5 for 500ml (half a liter, as displayed above). That's purely a guess, because I mean…Ashba has to make his money back after all that research in bottling.

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