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GWAR Makes A Deal With Mark From Empire Records To Let Him Live

Posted by on June 23, 2019 at 11:01 am

In 1995, the character Mark (played by actor Ethan Embry) was eaten by the Gwar's World Maggot in the film Empire Records. Embry and Gwar recently met once more via Twitter prior to the upcoming Riot Fest this September, and now they're finally conversing. In a conversation moderated by comedian Anya Volz, Embry and Gwar attempted to resolve their issues. The two spoke honestly about the consumption of Mark, which of course devolved very quickly into insults and placing blame.

The conversation eventually ended with a deal – Mark wants his vintage Gibson SG back and Gwar says they'll let him go if he brings them David Cassidy, Susan Day, or Chris Partridge.

So, just a basic mediation tactic—I want to give you the chance to give an introductory statement about where you stand on the conflict. Ethan, you were the one who tweeted in the first place on May 29th. Since you’re really the one with a bone to pick, I would really like to hear you give your opening, uninterrupted statement. What’s your issue, what would you like to resolve?

EE: Well, first of all, I haven’t prepared any statement—

Oh, that’s okay. Speak from the heart.

EE: This is off the fly. I guess I didn’t know the shit I was stepping into. I, Ethan, was just excited to see—I guess I’m a little late, because they’ve been playing there every year for the past decade—that GWAR was going to be at Riot Fest. And I thought “How fun would that be, to go up and watch GWAR and get covered in blood and shit again?” And, uh, I guess I didn’t understand the power of Twitter beef. I had never been involved in a Twitter beef—and I think you also combine the power of an intergalactic entity such as GWAR with Twitter beefs, and you end up where we are now.

JDG: This is a very typical let’s-blame-it-on-the-media-type stance that you Hollywood people always take. And you’re just afraid to admit it, you know? You were trying to start something with GWAR, and you didn’t think that we’d come all the way from Antarctica to Chicago to stand in front of you and slaughter you in front of the whole crowd. And that’s what we’re gonna do.

EE: What’s the name of your worm again?

BJD: The World Maggot. How did you survive the World Maggot? Because many people saw you die in Empire Records. You were devoured by it.

JDG: Ooo, ooo! Balsac! I know the answer. Cinemax did a little side-moonlighting a while back, and we did a little thing with Ethan Embry and the cast of Empire Records up in New York. And at that event, put on by BBQ Films, the World Maggot actually spit him back out. It was just an awful taste.

BJD: He doesn’t like liberals.

JDG: He was covered in all the maggot mucus, membranes of all the organs—honestly, I think that maggot got heartburn or something. He just chucked him right back out. It was pretty disgusting.

BJD: I think it was probably all those edibles you were eating that day you got swallowed by the World Maggot [in Empire Records]. Probably caused the World Maggot to hallucinate and spit you out.

Get your tickets to Riot Fest to witness the music (and potential murder) here.

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