It’s hard to be tr00. Every week, the editors of MetalSucks.net , Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein, will dissect the week’s stories and decide which stories are deemed worthy of the title “tr00″and admonish all posers who are false and upset the metal gods. Here are this week’s entries:

tr00:

Dillinger Escape Plan vs. Disturbed
Remarks about stage performance led to some highly amusing backtalk and a subsequent media tornado. We live for this kind of shit.

Deicide
Air an amazingly low budget TV advertisement .

Metallica
Released a spurt of new video clips featuring rehearsal footage and clips of new tunes. Good? Too soon to tell, but who isn’t interested?

False:

Madonna
Unknowingly covers Pantera at a live show. Lame.

Scars on Broadway
Daron Malakian and John Dolmayan of System of a Down’s side project, Scars on Broadway, signed with the big boys at Interscope . Why bother with a major these days, especially if you’re already of such high stature? Just pull a Trent Reznor and DIY.

Scott Weiland / The fucked up U.S. legal system
Weiland served 13 minutes of an 8-day jail sentence resulting from a DUI conviction. What the fuck?? Most people get locked up for a year for a second offense. Money rules all.

It’s hard to be tr00. Every week, the editors of MetalSucks.net, Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein, will dissect the week’s stories and decide which stories are deemed worthy of the title “tr00″and admonish all posers who are false and upset the metal gods. Here are this week’s entries:

tr00:

Scar Symmetry
Proved that Swedes are still the best at metal by releasing a brand new track “Morphogenesis” from their forthcoming album Holographic Universe, due in June.

Some chick / Deicide
Some chick sings along to Deicide and posts the video to YouTube. Highly amusing.

Trent Reznor
The NIN frontman released an entire new Nine Inch Nails album for free, mere weeks after releasing four instrumental albums (this one has vocals). Could Reznor be the coolest guy on the planet right now?

False:

Korn
Fieldy will write an autobiography. We need this, why?

Kill Your Ex
Terrible band releases terrible music. Nuff said.

Some dude
Some kid talks at length on YouTube about how the metal scene is divided and… who the fuck knows. Someone kid this kid in the head.

It’s never too late to be tr00. Every week, the editors of MetalSucks.net, Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein, will dissect the week’s stories and decide which stories are deemed worthy of the title “tr00″and admonish all posers who are false and upset the metal gods. Here are this week’s entries:

tr00:

Muse
Announce Live DVD/CD details for HAARP (filmed live at Wembley in June, 2007), release clips online, and announce special screenings in select cities.

Meshuggah
New album obZen debuts at #59 on the Soundscan charts, shifting over 11,000 units in its first week.

Killswitch Engage
Justin Foley reveals the secrets behind his beard and Adam D. exposes his nuts for the world to see, then shrugs it off.

False:

Through the Eyes of the Dead
Lost yet another guitarist after dropping off the Scum of the Earth Tour with Soilwork and Throwdown. It sucks to be these guys right now.

Velvet Revolver
Scott Weiland surprises his band by announcing on-stage that this will be the last Velvet Revolver tour. Matt Sorum and Slash both fire back through the press.

Guitar Hero
Has the backlash begun? Guitar Hero announced a portable version of the hit game for Nintendo DS, but we can't help but wonder if this trend is starting to fade.

 It’s hard to be tr00. In this new Metal Injection feature, every week, the editors of MetalSucks.net, Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein, will dissect the week’s stories and decide which stories are deemed worthy of the title “tr00″and admonish all posers who are false and upset the metal gods. Here are this week’s entries:

tr00:

Jon Becker
Aspiring singer and gum-chewer Jon Becker becomes a hit on YouTube, singing Skid Row's "The Threat" and hitting piercingly high notes; in between chews of his gum.

Dallas Coyle / God Forbid
The God Forbid guitarist keeps it real by blogging his true sentiments, much to the chagrin of his brother and record label.

Trent Reznor
Made 3/4 of a million dollars overnight by selling out the ultra-special deluxe edition of his new DIY album Ghosts.

False:

Disturbed
Everyone's favorite metal punching bag Disturbed re-wrote their old songs and called it the new single "Perfect Insanity," inciting riots on metal message boards everywhere.

Courtney Love
Degraded drinkers of beer, then responded to a post about it under a fake name on the MetalSucks comment boards.

Munky / Billy Gould
Korn guitarist Munky teams up with ex-Limp Bizkit guitarist Wes Borland and ex-Faith No More bassist Billy Gould for a new supergroup, giving Faith No More fans a reason to cry.

It’s hard to be tr00. In this new Metal Injection feature, every week, the editors of MetalSucks.net, Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein, will dissect the week’s stories and decide which stories are deemed worthy of the title “tr00″and admonish all posers who are false and upset the metal gods. Here are this week’s entries:

trOO

NEW ENGLAND METAL AND HARDCORE FESTIVAL
Best. Lineup. Ever?

NACHTMYSTIUM
Their new song, "True Enemy," is the shit - evil and fucked up and totally awesome for getting high to all at once. So now Century can rest a little easier about losing Behemoth.

ELUVEITIE
The pagan metal band's new album, Slania, is like In Flames with flutes and fiddles and shit. It's currently streaming on the band's MySpace page; then you can check them out when they tour the States this year as part of Paganfest USA.

BLOGGING
A study shows that it helps boost album sales. So now we can tell our moms that we do contribute something to society.

FALSE

ATREYU
Just six months after the release of the shitastic Lead Sails, Paper Anchor the band is putting out one of those "expanded editions" featuring some crappy new songs and a DVD so people will buy the album a second time. What up, Atreyu? You dudes felt you hadn't punished your fans enough the first time you put out the album? Go watch Neverending Story some more. Douche bags.

SOILWORK
Ola Frenning split, meaning the band has lost two guitarists in as many years. Can this once awesome Gothenburg band survive?

DUFF MCKAGAN
The ex-GN'R/current Velvet Revolver bassist has re-launched his "punk" outfit, Loaded. Because he felt people had a little too much respect for him after those John Varvatos ads.

TOM ARAYA AND HIS FAMILY AT THE GRAMMYS
Yeah yeah yeah, so his wife is pretty hot. But the look on the Slayer front man's daughter's face in this picture pretty much says it all. No, little Araya girl, the Grammys are most certainly not metal.

It’s hard to be tr00. In this new Metal Injection feature, every week, the editors of MetalSucks.net, Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein, will dissect the week’s stories and decide which stories are deemed worthy of the title “tr00″and admonish all posers who are false and upset the metal gods. Here are this week’s entries:

trOO

MAYHEM FEST
Mastodon, Machine Head, The Red Chord, Suicide Silence and Slipknot? We're there.

CAVALERA CONSPIRACY
The debut album from the new Sepultura semi-reunion leaked this week and, lo and behld, it's actually really, really good. So, uh, Mama Cavalera's vagina should be proud it spawned those two.

AT THE GATES
'Cause trusted MetalSucks sources tell us they're about to announce a U.S. tour, saving lots and lots fans the agony of having not being able to afford a trip across the pond this summer. And 'cause maybe we judged 'em a little too harshly last week.

THE DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN
Their new clip for the awesomely catchy "Milk Lizard" reminds us why we ever liked music videos in the first place. Which is not to say that we can actually understand what the fuck it's about. Still, guitarist Ben Weinman shot the damn thing with a broken foot. That's metal.

FALSE

MAYHEM FEST
Disturbed, Five Finger Death Punch, Black Tide and Slipknot? Actually, I think I'm having root canal surgery that day…

THE LAMB OF GOD FAN RE-MIX CONTEST
'Cause this re-mix of "Walk With Me in Hell" sucks really, really hard.

VAN CANTO
This band’s website (which I absolutely refuse to link to, discuss, or ever even look at again) describes them thusly: “Five singers, one drummer. No guitars, no bass, no keyboards but nevertheless an unbelievable melodic metal experience.” But we believe that they are, in fact, the absolute weakest fucking "band" in metal today, if not ever. Like metal wasn't dorky enough without bringing this shit into it. Sheesh.

THE PRETTY BOY FLOYD REUNION
Couldn't they just leave bad enough alone?

WHITE LION
Their new album title, Return of the Pride, features not only what we're fairly certain is pretty much the worst pun ever, but also also features album art that displays a desperate desire to seem "tr00." 'Cause apparently Pretty Boy Floyd getting back together wasn't fucktarded enough.

It’s hard to be tr00. In this new Metal Injection feature, every week, the editors of MetalSucks.net, Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein, will dissect the week’s stories and decide which stories are deemed worthy of the title “tr00″and admonish all posers who are false and upset the metal gods. Here are this week’s entries:

trOO

MESHUGGAH
Despite Nuclear Blast's best efforts, obZen has leaked well before its scheduled release dates. Our review in short: awesomeness in audio form.

HATE ETERNAL
DownloadPunk is hosting a free mp3 of the new track "Bringer of Storms" from the Erik Rutan-led group's forthcoming Fury and Flames. Monstrous, epic, br00tal and melodic all at once, the song erases any worries fans have about Rutan soldiering on with an entirely new line-up and re-establishes his place as one of the greatest minds in modern death metal.

MERCENARY
Speaking of new songs: the band debuted a new song, "Embrace the Nothing," on their MySpace page this week, and it makes us feel confident in calling Architect of Lies an early contender for best power metal album of the year. This shit is aural viagra, bitch.

THE DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN
Their new clip for the awesomely catchy "Milk Lizard" reminds us why we ever liked music videos in the first place. Which is not to say that we can actually understand what the fuck it's about. Still, guitarist Ben Weinman shot the damn thing with a broken foot. That's metal.

FALSE

SEVENDUST
If this band ever had any actual cred, it went right the fucking window when they announced that they'd be collaborating with American Idol's Chris Douchebag, uh, Daughtry on their new album, Hope and Sorrow (as in, Sevendust fans who hope this album will be good are eventually going to feel sorrow). As if Bon Jovi making country music wasn't bad enough.

BLESSED BY A BROKEN HEART
Just how gay is this band? So gay that even the Taste of Chaos tour didn't want 'em. They did, however, manage to score a Friday night headlining gig at that bar Mahoney keeps tricking Harris into going to in the Police Academy movies. So, y'know, that's a start.

BIOHAZARD
Evan Seinfeld will pull his dick out of pornstar wife/cash cow Tera Patrick just long enough to jump on this summer's reunion bandwagon. That's right: the band that inadvertently paved the way for Limp Bizkit is back. Guess those Super Group residuals aren't paying off the way he'd hoped.

AT THE GATES
Okay okay okay, so they're probably one of the most influential modern metal bands of all time; but that still doesn't excuse the forthcoming re-release of their seminal album Slaughter of the Soul, which combines "special features" from the 2002 and 2006 re-releases with a new live DVD. As Decibel editor Albert Mudrian wrote on The Deciblog, "Like the Olympics, a Slaughter of the Soul reissue only comes around once every couple of years, so you know the folks behind it will lure you in with shit almost as compelling as ice dancing."

It’s hard to be tr00. In this new Metal Injection feature, every week, the editors of MetalSucks.net, Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein, will dissect the week’s stories and decide which stories are deemed worthy of the title “tr00″and admonish all posers who are false and upset the metal gods. Here are this week’s entries:

tr00:

TRENT REZNOR:
Released completely transparent accounting for the Saul Williams album he recently produced and subsequently made available via the Radiohead "pay as you wish" model (sort of: either free or $5). Of the 154,449 who downloaded it, 18.3% (28,322) of those people chose to pay. Though Reznor expressed some disappointment, he pointed out the pluses and continues to look toward the future.

PROTEST THE HERO:
Young prog-metal up and comers released a new video from their forthcoming album Fortres, due January 29, drawing comparisons to Dillinger Escape Plan, Sikth, and At the Drive In.

GIGANTOUR:
Dave Mustaine announced a scaled back 2008 edition of his summer touring package Gigantour, featuring Megadeth, In Flames, Children of Bodom, Job For A Cowboy, and High on Fire. Though the number of bands and size of venues will be more like a Mediumsizetour, the lineup kicks ass.

False:

SHELDON TARSHA:
Singer no one gives a shit about signs to record labels no one has ever heard of. Because playing with ex-GNR drummer Steven Adler does not a star make.

SEBASTIAN BACH:
Insulted his MySpace friends and complained that people weren't buying his new CD because of illegal downloading, all the while coming off like a complete, out-of-touch idiot.

CDs:
Album sales dropped 21% during the holiday season of 2007 from their sales in 2006. With cuts in shelf space sure to follow in 2008, the CD is just about done.

It’s hard to be tr00. In this new Metal Injection feature, every week, the editors of MetalSucks.net, Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein, will dissect the week’s stories and decide which stories are deemed worthy of the title “tr00″and admonish all posers who are false and upset the metal gods. Here are this week's entries:

trOO

LAMB OF GOD
The re-release of one 2006's best albums, Sacrament, comes with a bonus disc that breaks down each song on the album track by track, allowing you to upload the mp3s onto your computer and re-mix, re-record, or pretty much do whatever the fuck you want with each song. Prepare to have no social life whatsoever.

JOSH HOMME
Regardless of how you've felt about all the post-Nick Oliveri QOTSA material, you gotta give respect where respect is due: this week, Homme declared of his record label, "Interscope sucks my dick," and blamed the music industry for its own downfall. Can't fault a dude for telling it like it is…

ELECTRIC WIZARD
Crustcake have posted a retrospective on ’90s UK doom masters Electric Wizard, recently reformed after breaking up in 2002, to release a new album, Witchcult Today. The restrospective even has some free mp3s of class EW tracks. if you don't know this band, you must check this out - they're a fuckin' AMAZING song to get stoned to.

FALSE

LAMB OF GOD
Here's your Christmas lump of coal: at a concert in New York last week, the band announced that there will be no new LOG albums or tours until 2009. That means 2008 will be the first Lamb of God-less year of the aughties. That new Meshuggah album better kill.

BIGELF
After Blabbermouth's Keith Bergman gave their new album a perfect score, we decided to check them out… only to discover that they were a generic stoner rock band that apparently like to take cheesy photos of themselves standing in the mist (rimshot!) of too many smoke machines. Pass the Electric Wizard on the left hand side, please.

ANTHRAX
They've apparently hired their fourth lead singer, Dan Nelson of… some bands you've never heard of. We'd tell what the dude sounds like, but every band he's ever been in mysteriously took all their music down from their respective MySpace pages earlier in the week, leaving us with the rumor that "Dan sounds quite a bit like John Bush." Oh-kay. Hey, Dan? Meet Gary Cherone and John Corabi. Gary Cherone and John Corabi, Dan. You guys should lots to talk about.

ALICE COOPER
The Godfather of Shock Rock admitted that when he got out of rehab, he substituted his substance abuse addiction with an addicition to… golf. In the words of Kip Wingerschmidt: "I'm proud of Alice for kicking the habit of booze, really I am, but for the record — golf is much more fun when you drink. Seriously."

It’s hard to be tr00. In this new Metal Injection feature, every week, the editors of MetalSucks.net, Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein, will dissect the week’s stories and decide which stories are deemed worthy of the title “tr00″ and admonish all posers who are false and upset the metal gods.

trOO

MESHUGGAH
Sure, announcing the track listening of their new album, obZen, is the very definition of "non-news;" but hey, it's a new Meshuggah album, fuckers! So even though we have no idea what a song called "Lethargica" will sound like, just knowing that it's out there gives us reason to live. Now if only they'd announce a release date…

JOHNNY ROTTEN
The Sex Pistols front man is still punk all these years later, and to prove it, he terrorized a press conference where he was supposed to be shilling for Guitar Hero III. With everyone from Led Zepplin to Metallica seemingly selling-out for the man as quickly as they can cash the checks, it's good to know at least one rock legend is still Rotten after all these years. Take that, Slash!

KEVIN DUBROW
More metal heads were probably closet Quiet Riot fans than care to admit, and we can only imagine that at least one of the Randy Blythes or Doc Coyles of the world would never have gotten into extreme music if not for the gateway drug the world knows as QR's cover of "Cum on Feel the Noize." R.I.P., dude.

FALSE

LAUREN "NIPPLE" HARRIS
Talk about nepotism: the shockingly untalented daughter of Iron Maiden bassist Steve Harris - whose music isn't even remotely metal (check out her MySpace page if you doubt us) - will support the metal masters on the first leg of Somewhere Back In Time World Tour next year. At least she's hot and has been known to show nipple on stage… so that's something.

RICHARD PATRICK
Now that Army of Anyone seems to be Army of No One, the Filter main man only-man has announced that he'll record a new album for that project, entitled Anthems for the Damned with producer Josh Abraham (Slayer, Velvet Revolver), to be released in March. The album will feature guest appearances from Josh “I’ve played drums on every record ever” Freese, former Marilyn Manson / Rob Zombie guitarist John 5 (who co-wrote two of the album’s tracks), and… ex-Limp Bizkit/ current Black Light Burns guitarist Wes Borland??? C'mon, guys. I know the world of metal is actually pretty fractious, but can't we all just agree that Limp Bizkit (or limpbizkit or cumcookie or however the fuck they spell it) SUCK and we should just not employ anyone who has ever had anything to do with them, ever?

SEBASTIAN BACH
After his craptastic new album, Angel Down, just barely cracked the Billboard 200, his publicist tried to save face by announcing that the disc was #1 on the Billboard Heatseekers chart, and that Entertainment Weekly, that bastion of intelligent metal criticism, liked the album. Baz himself was not available for comment, as it's too difficult for him to speak while Axl Rose is mouth fucking him.

LENNON & JASON SUECOF
The nu-metal mistress is collaborating on a new album with the Crotchduster mastermind and producer of such bands as Trivium, God Forbid, and Chimaira. It is presently unclear if Lennon is just fulfilling a life-long fantasy of fucking a dude in a wheel chair, Suecof just needs a new addition to his house, or how the fuck this came about. Only time will tell how shitty, on a scale of Limp Bizkit to Korn, the album will end up being.

It’s hard to be tr00. In this new Metal Injection feature, every week, the editors of MetalSucks.net, Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein, will dissect the week’s stories and decide which stories are deemed worthy of the title “tr00″ and admonish all posers who are false and upset the metal gods.

tr00

VAN HALEN

Rocking arenas across the country with David Lee "Bar Mitzvah Band Leader" Roth for the first time in 22 years, the band is looking and sounding great. Roth is jump kicking like the days of old, and Eddie reminds us why he's the most influential guitar player in heavy metal in the last… oh, wait, ever.

QUEENSRYCHE

Because Axl Rose was apparently NOT the first one to wear spandex biker shorts on stage, and because this band fucking rocks… and you all seemed to highly agree with the latter.

TOM MORELLO

Serenaded the striking writers in Hollywood to much affair. Now if only he could somehow magically write the remaining unfilmed episodes of Lost, Season 4…

ALICE IN CHAINS

Jerry Cantrell announced that the band is working on some new material and plans to release it in 2008 with William Duvall, who has been handling vocal duties on the road, singing. Will it be any good? Time will tell.

False

GIBSON

Gibson announced a guitar that tunes itself, signaling the dawn of the apocalypse in the form of thousands of useless hacks playing guitar. In addition to Metalcore, that is.

COURTNEY LOVE

Continuing her blog updates of excellent spelling, prose, and grammar, Love confessed to having to deal with the all-dreaded Fica score, all the while slamming Madonna and praising Radiohead. What do these have to do with each other? Fuck if I know.

KORN

Hired Army of Anyone drummer Raz Luzier, marking the 4th drummer to play in the band since May of this year. This band is OVER.

VINCE NEIL

Says Tommy Lee IS in the band after all, despite contradicting statements from Nikki Sixx. As if any new output this band releases will be any good anyway.

It’s hard to be tr00. In this new Metal Injection feature, every week, the editors of MetalSucks.net, Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein, will dissect the week’s stories and decide which stories are deemed worthy of the title “tr00″ and admonish all posers who are false and upset the metal gods.

tr00:

GUITAR HERO III
Metalheads everywhere flocked to stores to get the latest installmentof the Guitar Hero saga, ensuring we'll be wasting our time locked upat home until we defeat Slash on expert.

ENSLAVED featured in NY Times (not for raping or pillaging)
In a most un-Times-like move, the indie rock-centric New York Times published an Arts & Leisure cover article on Enslaved, exposing black metal to the masses.

DREAM THEATER, BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME, OPETH, 3 make prog-heads check their pants
All 4 progressive bands announced a spring tour together. The collective shock of prog nerdsjizzing on their keyboards made the Internet crash for a few minutes.

False:

V is for Tattoo?
Some girl got the words 'V is for Vagina' from the cover of Maynard's (Tool) side-project Puscifer — "V is for Vagina" — tattooed right above her crotch. What a fucking moron. At least her kids will be learning their ABCs on the way out.

OZZY FANS
Police in Fargo, ND lured wanted criminals into a trap by promising a pre-show bash and free tickets to the local Ozzy concert, further persisting the stereotype that metalheads are fucking idiots. 30 out of 500 invitees fell for the trick, eradicating their moronic existences from the gene pool.

JOHN VARVATOS
John Varvatos, the designer who is opening up a high-end fashion store in the former location of CBGB's, attempted to assuage the press by claiming he was all about rock and roll. Fuck you, John.

It's hard to be tr00. In this new Metal Injection feature, every week, the editors of MetalSucks.net, Axl Rosenberg and Vince Neilstein, will dissect the week's stories and decide which stories are deemed worthy of the title "tr00" and admonish all posers who are false and upset the metal gods.

tr00 - A LIFE ONCE LOST rules
They destroyed a warm-up show they played in New York this week. Iron Gag is one of the best albums of the year, and now they've kicked off their tour with Suicide Silence and Walls of Jericho. Get dates on their MySpace page.

false - BLOODY PANDA does not
This band opened for ALOL and they suck! and someone needs to tell them so. Every song (I’m assuming there were multiple songs - it all sounded pretty much the same to me) sounds like an intro; it always feels like the plane’s about to take off, but all it ever does is circle around the runway before coming to a complete halt.

tr00 - DETHKLOK will rock
All concerns about the idea of a live band touring in place of our favorite animated headbangers were erased by this video. Also, more details were announced about the shows, and it looks like the band is taking a Gorillaz style.

false - Aging nu-metalers trying to put a good spin on bad news
Sevendust moved their November 1st gig in NYC from the 3,000 person capacity Roseland Ballroom to the 600 person capacity Gramercy Theater due to "unavoidable utility repair" at the Roseland; meanwhile, former Coal Chamber bassist Nadja Peulen is auctioning off one of her old basses on eBay, allegedly because an endorsement deal with another company now prohibits her from using the bass live (as though she actually plays live gigs anymore). Collectively these are the two lamest excuses for "we can't sell tickets" and "I need money" we've ever heard.

tr00 - The new video game: BRUTAL LEGEND
Fuck Slash, and fuck Tom Morello, too; this metal-themed video game, set to feature the voices of Jack Black, Ronnie James Dio, Lemmy and Rob Halford, promises to put Guitar Hero III to shame.

false - NIELSEN SOUNDSCAN
The record chart listed new releases by Exodus and Helloween on their "New Artists" chart, making one wonder why the fuck anyone pays attention to this antiquated sales recorder at all.

tr00 - THE DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN's new album finally posted
Their entire new album, Ire Works, is now avail for streaming. And of course its good…its Dillinger.

false - METALLICA covers Garbage
They let their fans down again with a shitty acoustic cover of Garbage's "I'm Only Happy When it Rains" at a Bridge School benefit. Somewhere, Cliff Burton is rolling in his grave.

uberfalse - The death of a legend in the making
Decapitated drummer Witold "Vitek" Kieltyka died at age 23, from injuries sustained in a car crash earlier this week while the band was on tour. Our thoughts are with Vitek's family and the other members of the band, at least one who whom - vocalist Adrian “Covan” Kowanek - remains hospitalized.

Stay tuned every week for a new tr00 and False presented by the editors of MetalSucks.net